Saturday, January 31, 2009

Dreams



I sold my violin today. Yes, once upon a time there was this little girl named Heidi who played the violin. I have owned a violin almost as long as I can remember. In fact, I think a violin is the one thing that I have consistently owned since the age of 8 or 9, I have never been without one. I bought this violin with my own hard earned money the year I graduated from high school because I fell in love with it. As I stood in a bathroom at MacPahail, while a 14 year old punk girl in a hoodie, flannel pajama pants, and chucks, who had taken lessons for the last 11 years, played my violin, I realized my violin was really being played for the first time ever. She was amazing. I could have stood there and listened to her play for hours. I have never been even close to as good as she is, never. I gave her the instrument, took the money, got in my car, and cried. I cried all the way home.

I don't even really know why, except now I know for sure that I will never play the violin as well as I always dreamed and wanted to. I guess I gave up on a dream today.

The good news? Now I am finally going to get a nice camera! I told Steve that I refused to sell my violin for anything except a camera. I almost changed my mind this morning as Steve got out his guitar and we played together...I played my violin for the last time. But, I am really excited about a camera.

3 comments:

trish and chris said...

i really liked this post. i nearly teared up with you. music is amazing, this morning i was listening to this fab piano player and wishing i was good at an instrument...
i'm glad you'll be getting a camera though!

Kevin said...

You will get good with the camera. And...

You will get another violin in the future sometime.

You will have two dreams realized. That is how dreams multiply. Let them go and they come back later... and with more resolve... fueled by the pain of the initial severance. Pain is the key. Or something. Argh.

Sara said...

That's a really sweet story. At least you know that it went to some one who will create beauty with it. :-)

Maybe one of your girls will play the violin, and you can relive your dream with her!

~Sara Lightbody
(this is my first time reading your blog, so I thought I should say, "hey, this is me!"