There are many days when after I put the girls to bed at night I won’t see them until the following evening after I get home from work. This is definitely not ideal and something that I am trying to change, but it is what it is, life right now. And so, although I normally wouldn’t have even seen them yet today, I miss them already. Why? Steve and I dropped them off at my parent’s house last night because we are going to be in Chicago through Saturday. Just the fact that I know I won’t get to see them soon makes me miss them more.
I brought it up during breakfast this morning with Steve.
“I miss the girls already,” I lamented over my bowl of fiber rich cereal covered with a mountain of truly organic wild raspberries, picked by my mom just yesterday.
Steve gave me that look out of the corner of his eye that said something like, You are being slightly ridiculous.
“I know I normally don’t even seem them before I leave for work, but just the fact that I won’t seem them today, or even the next three days, makes me miss the more.”
Again, The Look. “Hey, in two weeks they will be grown and married and out of our house forever anyway.”
“You should talk,” I admonished him, “you have been the one humming that song from Beauty and the Beast all morning.” Snap.
“Point taken,” he gives in a little sheepishly.
Yes, we both miss them already.
Steve and I used to have very urbane lifestyles pre-kids. We would spend our free time perusing the bookshelves at Barnes and Noble until they closed at midnight, we would get students tickets and spend our Sunday afternoons listening to the Minnesota Orchestra perform. We saw shows like Rent, The Sound of Music, Stomp, the ballet, just to name a few. We have sat in the crowd for shows like Damien Rice, Christina Aguilera, Amos Lee, Maroon 5, Regina Spektor, and many, many, many more. We used to fully take advantage of what the city had to offer.
Now, we spend our free time at the park. We spend our Sunday afternoons taking naps and our weeknights going out for ice cream, riding on kiddie rides at MOA, or at Como Zoo. While we regularly miss out on shows, haven’t been to the orchestra in over two years, rarely ever get to actually see movies in the theater, and our “fun” activities usually involved lots of large plastic colorful equipment, I don’t think we mind. Our house is littered with toys and, though we get frustrated with the chore and singing Clean-Up, Clean-up, everybody clean-up, everybody do your share, everybody clean up, I can’t say that I have never slept holding a “mankie” close to my face when my babies are not around. I cannot imagine life without my girls.
Yes, it would be nice to make it to the orchestra again someday, or be able to take ballroom dancing lessons for more than a short six weeks, but those days will come again. While my life doesn’t solely revolve around my children – we are not a family that is about everything kid and nothing us, we still love to go on dates and do things with friends often and regularly – I would have to say that a very, very large portion of my heart is not with me today. It is up at my mom and dad’s house in the form of the two very little wonders of my world.