Monday, April 27, 2009

Mommy Struggles

Currently, I have just put the kids to bed and am listening to Trynica have a hysterical melt-down because she didn't get to shut the light in her room off. Screaming, weeping, shrieking, crying, all because I turned off the light before she asked if she could. I wouldn't get her out of bed to let her come across the room, turn the light back on, and then turn it back off. Am I such a terrible mother? *Sigh*

Girls. I LOVE being the mother of two girls. Love it. I love that they are obsessed with princesses and dancing instead of frogs and dirt. I love putting them in little dresses as much as they love wearing little dresses. I love brushing their hair and I love that they like brushing my hair. I love that they already get really excited about new shoes and dresses and that they love to wear jewelry because mommy and princesses wear jewelry. I love that they both like to snuggle and cuddle with me and I love that they crave relational interaction. I love being the mother of little girls and I wouldn't trade it for a thing. But sometimes being the mother of two little girls can be absolutely draining.

There are already fights that sound like this, "NO!! Don't touch my dress!! Don't take my slippers!! NOOO!!!!"

Can you imagine 15 years from now, "NO!! Those are my jeans, you can't borrow them again, they are MINE!"

Sounds pretty much the same. And I am already tired of those fights.

Also, I am also not an extremely emotional person. However, I did manage to end up with two very bright, determined, beautiful, adorable, strong, and EMOTIONAL little women in my household. They are dynamic, to be sure, but man, oh, man can they get mad at the drop of a hat!! Seriously. For example, Berlin told me she was done with dinner tonight. So I clean her face and hands and started to take her down from her seat. Well, she just happened to change her mind mid-decent and ended up on the floor in a hysterical tantrum, arching her back and screaming, because she decided she wasn't done. Holy cow. And I am supposed to know how to handle this? I think not. I am pretty sure I am not handling it the right way and instead of starting a savings fund for my girls weddings I should probably start a savings fund for their counseling.

Seriously. I love my girls and, if Steve and I don't totally mess up, I think they are going to be absolutely amazing young women. They each have enough personality to take on the whole world all on their own. It's just hard for me to think that God knew what he was doing when he picked ME to be their mother. He should have picked someone stronger, someone who understands emotions better, someone who understands girls better!!

I wanted my little girls desperately. When I was pregnant with Berlin I was scared to go in to the ultrasound because I thought they were going to tell me that I was having a boy and I wanted another girl with all my heart. I love my baby girls. Now I guess I just wish I knew what to DO with them. It's a good thing they are just so darn cute :) *Double sigh*

1 comment:

Quadruple Life said...

Oh Heidi . . . I wish I could tell you that boys were less emotional. :) I can't. Caleb had a total meltdown (hysterics, hiccups, kicking on the floor) because I pushed the "off" button on the DVD player rather than letting him do it. Repeat for "time for dinner," "no more books," "time for bed," ect. I wonder what I have to look forward to with Ella???
Regardless, I think you are an awesome mom and for the record, God knew EXACTLY what He was doing when he gave you daughters. After all . . . are not our children more for our benefit than for theirs?
Much love and I hope you sleep and rest deeply! Tomorrow is a brand new shiny day. Thank goodness, because I wore this one out.